Moody December 2016

I know I shouldn't be so negative because I know every bad moment that you had you'll got something good on coming. Just can't help it now due I'm feeling so sad towards those innocent colleagues been threatened bad by cruel company. My current company is the worst company that I never met before. In a month they can terminate staffs with their own prefer and due it is been backstabbing by backstabber. The popularity of this company was the character is 8 per 10 due mostly is listening person. Love to listen people say without any proof and believe it too.
Today there are 2 colleagues told me about their feeling and she cried in front of me. We never say much each other but she willing told me her situation which is company not let her to claim OT thus she is the only one do everything on the dept. (sorry I can't say which dept of that)
This company won't appreciate what u done for them and mostly they kicked out was talented person which i feel so stupid they are keeping all the old and non creative person in this company. I am no idea what am I writing here just want to shout-out and after that get back my work. I really don't know how long am I still going to work here because environment really can't help it! I feel unhappy and heavy feeling everyday. Even my housemate or friends keep asking me am I no sleep at night? I was keep dreaming recently and feel so heavy when woke up. My eyes getting yellowish as my colleague told me. I don't know why..
The another things, he also facing difficulty from his company but I feel he can do it and his company not worst like mine yet so I feel he can face it. Sometimes yeah feeling want tell him more but I feel himself stress too so i try to give some positive strength for him better than negative..
Hope our December month will past peacefully and happy. No worries i will treat it as challenge how to play around to this cruel company! Fighting Angie 💪

Another stage of my life!

Recently I got another challenge towards on myself due on my job, my business and all surrounding me. Yeah! I started my new business since May 2016 and is still baby so need put lots effort on this. My business is a travel business which targeted backpackers, and who loves holiday in budget way.

I guess this is the first holiday planner in Penang who run the business with low cost but with super localize itinerary including personal tour guide and driver! I run this business with him Mr Egg who really support me and put lots effort in this. We really look forwards on this and hope everything is run smoothly.

Another things that happened on me is the place i worked. On September, they decided to transfer me to another dept and the reason is i'm failed in judgement and i'm not suitable in motorcycle line. This is what my leader who i'm respected the most and feel he will bring you up nor give u such crazy reason. I know i should be positive but all the reason is really ridiculous even though i told my friend around and even my younger sister they felt is unfair because sales is not bad and i'm able to reactivate back 70% of inactive merchant back. Honestly speaking, i couldn't accept this reason and i can't give myself a good reason that im bad than the new hire people which had no experience in this line and the grade is higher than me. She just enter this company within 3mths and she is the first marketing had confirmed in 2mths with do not much yet! Feeling so unbalance and why not transfer her out and is me? 

However, i'm accept the fate and try to accept the new transfer which will transferred to PFCC (Personal Loan and Credit Card) which totally not my interest but no harm to give myself a try so i'm accepted since my salary is remain the same as been told by my leader. The only thing makes me fed up and feeling like letting people play a fool on yourself is really a bad bad feeling. They are the one want to do transfer but told me there is no vacancy yet and until yesterday told me have a vacancy but not the original branch that im here now is another branch. I had agreed that because there is no 3rd choice.

After agreed, the new leader told me that she found my current salary had allowance which is quite big amount and she said when change to her dept there is no allowance. My allowance is RM500 and can you imagine that if you get transfer the RM500 that you always had suddenly gone just like that! It's make me super fed up and this matter makes me cry twice in front of diff leader. So shameful and i really not strong enough. After 1 day consideration, i'm decided to take the offer meanwhile finding another job which able to support my commitment and meanwhile can run my own business until have inquiry.

I feel myself exhausted but worth because all i did is for myself and future too. Of course he too, we really makes ourselves into it and schedule so pack everyday. Hope we stand still and be happy to facing everything.

Start from next week i need to adjust myself lunch without him because he got better offer and the last day for him is this coming Friday. So fast until today Wilber said about farewell i only realize that. I know is still mainland but another feeling comes is our meeting will become lesser and i can see his passionate on his new job which is good. Happy for him that finally he found his always wanted job.

Just feel long time no blogging so just type out what i want to say and now want to continue find my new job! Thanks and goodbye :)

Use to it!

I found lately im so use to it to lay on him and so depending on himself.. I will missing him even after we met few mins ago.. OMG! Am I ok? I think im ready be with him in my life but one thing that I always not sure is do he ready too? Actually testing him few times from my questions and I found he is not really yet.. feeling super nervous and dont know what to do.. these make me feel so insecure and makes me want to reducing my thought more into it.. but feeling always hardest to control so I just be myself! Maybe he found is too early or how.. but actually I am ready and im willing to commit anything! This is very first time my feeling super firm on this..
Anyway, I love when leaning, cuddling with him so much! Hope everything is smooth and hoping our life getting better too on what we working hard now! :)

Stubborn!

After have a great gathering with my jimui and escape from my part time gym.. come back time, my dad was telling something to my sisters. I know he taught my sisters about company politics and at first I not willing to join so just ignore until I heard my dad keep saying my uncle is useless I feel angry. I cannot accept my dad why keep saying people useless and that is his own brother. He not helping or guiding him and keep saying him useless. So I voice up and have little argument in attitude matter.
I told my dad we human always did wrong is only pointing or saw people mistake but not ownself. So I ask my dad did he know keep saying people useless is a wrong? He not feeling wrong and even praising ownself he is correct. WTF!!! He super confident and say he had nothing need to be change. I feeling worst and trying want to help but his thinking too "close" but keep telling u he is quite open to receive people comment. He asking me for help how to communicate or any method I suggested him to buy a books to gain more but he said no need is useless because he feel no matter what book is selling outside is also from human thinking. So he feel his own thinking is perfect so blocked about books too! This moment I feeling speechless and think back why previously he keep asking us to read more books instead himself is not doing his own part or parents character showed to his children. This is what I can see the stubbornness and typical asian man thinking! I cannot accept so I quit the conversation and have a good bath before sleep. Night!

110116

A day to remember! Quite funny moment and unpredictable day as well too.. I was thought all will full of preparation and surprise by him with officially announce to everybody but is not.. he say a date and is this date that we officially! So funny and feeling good after say out officially but until today I feel we like have a wall blocking us.. we act not like couple at all when with everybody.. we not holding hand in public just only when we together! Today he hold my hand to cross road and I found weird.. dunno why! Mayb we use to be like this for so long? Or he not brave enough? Or im the one not brave enough? Feeling so wrong.. if bcoz me I just feel dun wan let all AEON know.. but seems we officially I feel ok.. but action is like not ok.. so do him! I found.. he quite self mayb he use to be alone for so many years and suddenly got an outsider come into his life.. I know he need time but bcoz of some times his action makes me not confident at all.. example: today we coming back from thailand and from morning til noon I not yet have a proper meal so I told him and I know he full.. so we decided to go icon city at first but suddenly he drive another way said want to go autocity.. he like not really want to go icon city but at the end autocity also din go bcoz he offer me to buy mcd nugget which can eat on the spot.. on that moment, I know he not willing to accompany to eat and want send me back home so he can go back have a nap because tired.. feeling bit sad and disappointed! At last, I just ate the crackers with some milk as my whole day meal even dinner also din take d! Now feeling tired after play few hours monopoly with my sisters.. night!
P/s: by the way, this 2days 1night at Dannok quite fun and sweet moment can be look back :)

纠结！

感觉我们好像太自然了until不需要任何的正式？我不喜欢我们做什么事都偷偷的！可能之前他习惯了可是也不可以这样嘛~我要有我们的anniversary虽然之前有定下来一个日期可是感觉不太正式。如果还是这样拖着，我应该会放慢再看这段感情了。
今天和小玲出去了一阵天感觉很好我们去喝茶，彩色，还有吃晚餐！晚餐后送她回家时，她和我share了她最近和一位男聊得还不错。是碗欣介绍的，约过一起出来我本人也觉得他不错。人虽然肥肥的可是整体上很整齐的男人也很steady礼貌的人。那次见面后，他和小玲有聊天而且也聊了许多的！今天这位男的竟然很大胆的向小玲说他会勇敢的追求她因为他问了小玲他有没有机会？小玲没有拒绝却还说给他机会就是也给自己机会~太完美了！男的就骨气勇气说了"那么我会敢敢的追求你咯"实在太帅了~这时候我也替小玲感到兴奋和开心。希望这次是ok的！也希望自己也是~ ><