LONG TIME NO SEE, ANGIE

 After so long, I read back most of my blogs makes me feel a different stage of myself. It's started on my own accidentally pressed the link on my own Instagram and i found out wow it's been a long time never thrown my emotion on here. So, I'm decided to start blog again. 

My last blogging was 2017 and yeah it's about mixed feelings until now 2022 even Covid-19 pandemic also happens 2 years past. Most things happen and change lots but my relationship with him is still the same. We've been together for 6years plus and we've been through together lots but yeah very less arguments not sure is a good thing or not. We bought a house together last year. It's a small unit around 650sqft only but its enough for us to living together. I love the house although small it's cozy enough you may go to my Instagram story highlight "亿琪宅在家" to check it out. For so long, Instagram become my blog style by showing pic and some lil words or quotes to express myself on that day. No more fancy or long story to be told as here. 

This pandemic makes me realize a thing that just does what you can be done, there is always unpredictable happening in life. I'm thanking God for my speedy recovery during a positive moment with my beloved gang. Ohya, just an update in my gang Grace is the one married, next come to Chloe, Varyne and last year are Linda.. Quite many people are shocked that I'm the last one to get attached or marry. Yeah! Me myself too. For myself, everything is at the right time with the right people and until today I guess I found the right one but still unsure feeling on myself don't know why because there are still many things we need to explore and I always understand life or human unable to explore finish until the end of your life so at least I'm following the flow now. This year we decided to get married after discussing without any action the last 2 years makes me feel a little couldn't stand what we going to do next or stable down ourselves to move forward. So, hope everything was fine and smooth although upfront we couldn't do many things due to my grandpa passing away last year in March 2021. It's sad but we still, need to move forward on what are we supposed to do. Most of the traditional way we unable to make it so we going to have Registration Wedding Party and yeah will be a super new concept of the wedding. So far never seen other people do this way but I guess will be more relaxed and chill. I still remember the moment I told my mum about this she is kinda excited and looking forward on that and you know.. as a traditional mum she used to be doing all the traditional way on her marriage so she is to urge on many things until the final confirmation from my grandma said not to do all the traditional way she only can calm down a bit. Actually, I told her not to be so panic and I understand on her excitement but I don't want her to be a busy person on my wedding day so trying to explain to her that wants her to be chill and wear a beautiful dress enjoy the moment of the wedding... huh~ luckily she understands.

Wow! I'm feeling written too much but it's just an update and told myself I'm kinda ready to step forward to the next life. It's funny that I'm blogging in the office because today is super boring and nothing much can do. It's a chill day for me and looking forward to tonight meeting up with my girl for dinner and having some drink after that. 

Mixed feeling!

Today is a night im crying lot due my offer got super low and still couldn't find a good job. Everyone always update with my current job and for them im the one always who love to change job. Seriously, am i? If not because of Jing Si im still jobless for almost 7 months. Im glad and i still looking for better job due cultural shock. Its ok and comfort to staying there but im looking for someone can assist me and guided to better of me. Ok, come back to original version today. Last week i went for interview which is my fav working in travel agent. I did for myself to low down my expectations salary from 3.8k to 3k only due i understand travel line salary is kinda low. Waiting two days finally got the mail from the boss. She only offer me rm2k as executive which is my past 4 years ago salary. Im experience and not a fresh grad.... Why? I really dont get it! Am i really bad til like this? I am so so down and finally cry out. So tiring and exhausted keep looking for job.
Just now i felt sad in sudden dunno why because of his wording makes me think of previous relationship. Its because of work and reducing an accompany. I told him my buddy wedding on wednesday at alor setar and he told me see first how. Then i told him that nonit see first coz im sure will go because is my buddy and yeah im expecting he will join me but he is not when i ask him are u really wont come that day? He said he might got work to do. Then i asked i will go til alor setar wor.. He said how about your friend? This sentence makes me started feel worry. Will everything re-act past 7 years again? Its because im time to wasting his (ex) time on work hard, yeah which is from beginning til better then he is belong to someone else now. Its doesn't matter anymore but why im worry also might be little dot told me that i had wasting 7years to teaching a boy become a good man and husband now am i going to teach new boy again? Which is the same situation from beginning work hard and of course im supporting but this time i will waiting for how long? Seriously, im ready for marriage but i know its not the time yet due he is not satisfied current result. But izit when touch on marriage must do everything in a line first? Im so complicated due im dont have high pay salary.. Commitment stucked.. Relationship makes me feel insecure.. Should i go oversea as a bet for my life? Will he feel sad when im apart? I guess im dead! I really cant do it.. I worry he will sad although he is supporting me! Kill me pls.. what's an emo night even im still crying while typing!

Good night!

Moody December 2016

I know I shouldn't be so negative because I know every bad moment that you had you'll got something good on coming. Just can't help it now due I'm feeling so sad towards those innocent colleagues been threatened bad by cruel company. My current company is the worst company that I never met before. In a month they can terminate staffs with their own prefer and due it is been backstabbing by backstabber. The popularity of this company was the character is 8 per 10 due mostly is listening person. Love to listen people say without any proof and believe it too.
Today there are 2 colleagues told me about their feeling and she cried in front of me. We never say much each other but she willing told me her situation which is company not let her to claim OT thus she is the only one do everything on the dept. (sorry I can't say which dept of that)
This company won't appreciate what u done for them and mostly they kicked out was talented person which i feel so stupid they are keeping all the old and non creative person in this company. I am no idea what am I writing here just want to shout-out and after that get back my work. I really don't know how long am I still going to work here because environment really can't help it! I feel unhappy and heavy feeling everyday. Even my housemate or friends keep asking me am I no sleep at night? I was keep dreaming recently and feel so heavy when woke up. My eyes getting yellowish as my colleague told me. I don't know why..
The another things, he also facing difficulty from his company but I feel he can do it and his company not worst like mine yet so I feel he can face it. Sometimes yeah feeling want tell him more but I feel himself stress too so i try to give some positive strength for him better than negative..
Hope our December month will past peacefully and happy. No worries i will treat it as challenge how to play around to this cruel company! Fighting Angie 💪

Another stage of my life!

Recently I got another challenge towards on myself due on my job, my business and all surrounding me. Yeah! I started my new business since May 2016 and is still baby so need put lots effort on this. My business is a travel business which targeted backpackers, and who loves holiday in budget way.

I guess this is the first holiday planner in Penang who run the business with low cost but with super localize itinerary including personal tour guide and driver! I run this business with him Mr Egg who really support me and put lots effort in this. We really look forwards on this and hope everything is run smoothly.

Another things that happened on me is the place i worked. On September, they decided to transfer me to another dept and the reason is i'm failed in judgement and i'm not suitable in motorcycle line. This is what my leader who i'm respected the most and feel he will bring you up nor give u such crazy reason. I know i should be positive but all the reason is really ridiculous even though i told my friend around and even my younger sister they felt is unfair because sales is not bad and i'm able to reactivate back 70% of inactive merchant back. Honestly speaking, i couldn't accept this reason and i can't give myself a good reason that im bad than the new hire people which had no experience in this line and the grade is higher than me. She just enter this company within 3mths and she is the first marketing had confirmed in 2mths with do not much yet! Feeling so unbalance and why not transfer her out and is me? 

However, i'm accept the fate and try to accept the new transfer which will transferred to PFCC (Personal Loan and Credit Card) which totally not my interest but no harm to give myself a try so i'm accepted since my salary is remain the same as been told by my leader. The only thing makes me fed up and feeling like letting people play a fool on yourself is really a bad bad feeling. They are the one want to do transfer but told me there is no vacancy yet and until yesterday told me have a vacancy but not the original branch that im here now is another branch. I had agreed that because there is no 3rd choice.

After agreed, the new leader told me that she found my current salary had allowance which is quite big amount and she said when change to her dept there is no allowance. My allowance is RM500 and can you imagine that if you get transfer the RM500 that you always had suddenly gone just like that! It's make me super fed up and this matter makes me cry twice in front of diff leader. So shameful and i really not strong enough. After 1 day consideration, i'm decided to take the offer meanwhile finding another job which able to support my commitment and meanwhile can run my own business until have inquiry.

I feel myself exhausted but worth because all i did is for myself and future too. Of course he too, we really makes ourselves into it and schedule so pack everyday. Hope we stand still and be happy to facing everything.

Start from next week i need to adjust myself lunch without him because he got better offer and the last day for him is this coming Friday. So fast until today Wilber said about farewell i only realize that. I know is still mainland but another feeling comes is our meeting will become lesser and i can see his passionate on his new job which is good. Happy for him that finally he found his always wanted job.

Just feel long time no blogging so just type out what i want to say and now want to continue find my new job! Thanks and goodbye :)

Use to it!

I found lately im so use to it to lay on him and so depending on himself.. I will missing him even after we met few mins ago.. OMG! Am I ok? I think im ready be with him in my life but one thing that I always not sure is do he ready too? Actually testing him few times from my questions and I found he is not really yet.. feeling super nervous and dont know what to do.. these make me feel so insecure and makes me want to reducing my thought more into it.. but feeling always hardest to control so I just be myself! Maybe he found is too early or how.. but actually I am ready and im willing to commit anything! This is very first time my feeling super firm on this..
Anyway, I love when leaning, cuddling with him so much! Hope everything is smooth and hoping our life getting better too on what we working hard now! :)